Hello fans and welcome to Issue 4, a bumper packed seaside special edition of our web-site. Bookmark our home page so that you can enjoy a SCARY on-line experience.
At the bottom of this page you will a band photograph! Also, this month we have a slightly different take on the band as we ask pointed questions, probing into the dark recesses of their deranged minds. You were warned....
What song describes you best?
"Let me entertain you" by Robbie Williams. It's a brilliant tune and he sings it
really, really well. It describes me because it's what we're all about, hopefully,
entertaining folk.
What is Heaven?
Going to a good Indian restaurant and stuffing myself with a Mixed Kebab starter and
a main course of Chicken Jalpuri. All washed down with a couple of Kingfisher lagers.
What is Hell?
Going to a bad Indian restaurant, stuffing myself with a Mixed Kebab starter and
a main course of Chicken Jalfrazi (that's a hotter one). Then spending the next day
with the world falling out of my bottom.
What is your earliest memory?
Sitting in a hospital bed and looking out over the Solent as a tramp steamer passed
by The Needles (at the Isle of Wight). I had TB and spent a year in that hospital when I
was five years old.
What is your greatest fear?
Losing my daughters.
Who is your all-time hero(ine)?
Diana Rigg. When I was about thirteen I went on a school trip to a cinema in London
where we watched "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Diana played Titania and only
wore green body paint. As you can imagine, that left an enormous impression on a young
lad. Seriously, the experience opened my eyes to film, theatre and Shakespeare
What's the worst trouble you've been in?
I don't get into trouble, I'm too smart.
Who was your first love?
My first love was a girl called Rosemary Stockley who sat on my lap during the
Cartoon Club at the local community centre when I was nine. I can't remember the name
of my first proper girlfriend but she only had one arm. On her left side she had one
of those strap on plastic arms.
What is your greatest talent?
It would have to be my ability to get enthusiastic about new things. Of course the
downside is that the enthusiasm usually only lasts until the next new fad comes around
the bend.
Who would you most like to exact revenge upon?
No one. Hatred poisons the soul. I work it out and discard it.
What is your most treasured possession?
My family.
What have you most regretted doing whilst drunk?
Eating an entire cornflakes packet with only a small amount of butter. The girl's
mother wasn't terribly impressed either.
What can you cook?
Most things, provided I've got a recipe to work from.
What is the best advice you have ever been given?
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your
friend's nose.
Can you read music?
No way, can you tell?
If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
Crikey, so you can see me then?
If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?
When I was young I wished that I would live to see the Berlin wall come down.
That wish came true so I can at least die happy. For my second wish I would like
to see a world government with a single, world currency. I feel that we need to
learn to pull together as a planet in order that humanity can progress in it's
evolution. Finally, I'd wish for a faster-than-light drive so that mankind can
finally reach for the stars.
What song describes you best?
"Dazed and confused"
What is Heaven?
Happiness.
What is Hell?
Misery.
What is your earliest memory?
Tying my own shoelaces at the age of four.
What is your greatest fear?
Pot-holing.
Who is your all-time hero(ine)?
Fred Dibner.
What's the worst trouble you've been in?
Alcohol-related, say no more.
Who was your first love?
The girl at the bottom of my Gran's street, I was five and I've still got the scars.
What is your greatest talent?
You tell me.
Who would you most like to exact revenge upon?
Who've you got?
What is your most treasured possession?
My guitar.
What have you most regretted doing whilst drunk?
Passing out and wasting the rest of the next day.
What can you cook?
What can't I cook!
What is the best advice you have ever been given?
Just be yourself.
Can you read music?
As if!!
If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
See what really goes on in the palaces of the mighty.
If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?
To leave the confines of this planet at will. To play guitar perfectly.
I guess, financial security would be worth having too.
SCARY is a rock band based in York, England. The band currently consists of two full-time members; lead guitarist Paul "Noodler" Martin and rhythm guitarist Roger "Sorry" Butler-Ellis. They both double up on vocals.
No band can exist in isolation, and even musical minimalists such as SCARY need a back-up team to provide vital assistance. So here are the folks that help make us rock:-
SCARY are currently acquiring new equipment for their Glen Studios. The boys have been out and about in York, scouring the music shops. If you were lucky, you might have caught them in MOR Music having a mini-jam session whilst checking out a new guitar. As a result Woj is now the proud owner of a Gibson 'Les Paul' Epiphone in sparkling, glittery red! Paul also purchased a mini-mixer so they can more finely balance the vocals against their raging guitars.
In March the band provided moral support for Chris Helme (ex Seahorses, but you knew that didn't you?) as he launched his solo career with a well received gig at Fibbers in York.
Then, in April the band treated a number of fans to an evening out at the York Barbican Centre in the company of Ocean Colour Scene. Is there no end to their generosity? (Yes)
Poodles are descended from bear-hunting dogs. Fact. Big, rough, tough, jolly buggers they were. It's taken decades of inbreeding to reduce them to the soppy, poncey little modern poodle. And SCARY are like the good ol' fashioned bear-hunting BIG rock-poodles, OK? And that's why we don't like them.
Loud, vicious, dangerous. Prone to crapping on your carpet. Urg! We prefer safe little, nice little, smug little, yapping little clever-indiepop toy poodles that you can stroke and mother and smother with oddles of soppy-woppy love for ever and ever. Don't we?
No we bloody well don't. Because, for all their faults, SCARY are like American Werepoodles in York tonight. They FUNK! Ugh! They ROCK! Urg! Despite the fact that 'Sorry' is wearing hair so close-cropped that it's practically non-existent. Despite the fact that 'Noodler' indulges in a tad too much ropey ol' rawk bollocks look-at-me fretboard noodlewhinewankery. Yes, despite all that, York's premier rockers - Zimmer frames and colostomy bags waiting in the wings - hunted bear tonight and caught, slew and ate the muthas. With gusto (and a little mustard).
They climaxed on a 'Hey Jude' that was nothing short of sublime and finished with a frantic version of 'Wipeout'. En route they captured the essence of the finest rock tracks available on this planet, and bottled it.
So if you're thinking of getting a poodle this Christmas, our advice is to invest in a strong leash, some air freshener and an electro-prod and to go for the big, smelly bear-hunting version. They're so much more fun in the long run, honest.
Stephan Wolfe